This morning, while I was eating my breakfast in my highchair, I thought that it might be interesting to see how far I could throw my porridge spoon. So I said: "Throw ... spoon", and hurled the spoon at mummy's head.
Mummy said "Oi!" crossly, and banged the spoon back down onto my highchair tray.
I picked the spoon back up, and then I shouted "OI!!", and lobbed it at mummy's face.
Mummy would maybe have been cross about this, but daddy started laughing so hard that he had to leave the room, and then mummy had to accept that it was actually quite funny, and not a thing that I should be told off for.
While mummy was having a shower and washing porridge out of her hair, granny arrived at our house and came inside to give me lots of hugs and read me books. Daddy said that we were all going shopping for "Cris-mas", and that I would get to see lots of pretty lights and decorations. He put me in my big pink coat and my snuggly hat, and said that I could pack some books into mummy's handbag to read while we were out.
I grabbed as many books as I could carry and tried to ram them all into mummy's handbag at once, but daddy said that we only needed two or three books to take with us. What a spoilsport.
When mummy was all clean and smelling okay, daddy drove us all into town, and I got to ride in my pram.
I had a nice long sleep while I was in my pram, and when I woke up we were in a busy shop where lots of grownups were running around with bags, making all kinds of noise and crashing into each other a lot. There were lots of pretty lights up in the sky and in the windows of the shops, and big spiky trees were standing in the streets. We passed one spiky tree that was even bigger than daddy ... It was like five daddies, all standing on top of each other.
Mummy took us into a very big shop to look at toys, and I got very excited and said, "Down! Walk!"; so the grownups said that I could get out of my pram if I was very good and held their hands, and didn't run away when they told me not to. I said, "Kay", and held mummy's hand for about five seconds ... and then I ran away and hid behind some dolls, and jumped on a bed that had teddy bears in it.
Mummy and granny each got hold of one of my hands, and told me to walk with them nicely. I laughed and dropped down onto my knees, and made mummy and granny drag me along the floor like a rag doll.
Apparently the grownups did not feel that this was very good behaviour, so they picked me up and put me back in my pram again. I had a brief paddy about this and tried to escape, but the grownups overpowered me and strapped me in so I couldn't get out. It was not a very fair fight: there were three of them and they are all bigger than me. Grownups do not care very much about what is fair.
Anyway, we left the big shop soon after this, and drove back home in the car. Then granny said goodbye to us and went back to her own house, and I played games with the parent staff until tea time.
Before she put me into bed tonight, mummy told me that tomorrow we will go out and get one of those spiky trees for our own house. I hope that we can get the big one, that is taller than daddy, and make a hole in the ceiling for it to fit through.