Now that I have mastered a lot of words in the staff language, I am getting really good at telling grownups what I need them to do.
Today the parent staff and I are away visiting friends, so I have had a lot of opportunities to order a whole range of grownups about.
When I woke up this morning, I was in my travel cot in a room that I had not seen before. When I sat up and looked around me, I noticed that there was a big bed nearby which had the parent staff in it. The parent staff were sleeping, like the big lazy slugs that they are, so I said in my quiet voice: "Mummy ... daddy ... seeping. Tired."
Then I swapped my quiet voice for my loud voice, and I yammered away without stopping until the parent staff woke up.
The parent staff put me in bed with them and read me books for a while, and I told them which books to read until it was time for breakfast. Then we went downstairs, and mummy brought me my porridge. While we were eating breakfast, our grownup friends Pete and Lue came in to eat with us, and mummy told me that this was Pete and Lue's house, and that we were here to visit them.
Pete and Lue had lots of books that I hadn't seen before, and over the rest of the day I carried some of these books with me everywhere I went ... and whenever I saw a grownup who didn't appear to be doing anything useful, I would take one of the books up to them and say, "Book, readit, now, peese!"
This was very good of me because it stopped the grownups from getting bored and falling asleep, which they probably would have done if I had not been there.
After the grownups had eaten their breakfasts, we all went out for a walk in the rain, to a place with a big pond and a cafe and ducks. Pete gave me some bread to rip up and throw to the ducks, and I jumped in lots of puddles and got my wellies muddy.
Then we all walked back to Pete and Lue's house and hung our wet clothes up to dry.
In the afternoon I read more books, and got daddy to make towers out of my building blocks for Mim to hide inside, and made daddy and Pete play hide and seek with me.
Then we all went out for dinner, to a nice place that had shiny wooden floors and candles on the tables. Mummy put me in a highchair and wouldn't let me play with the candles.
I was feeling pretty hungry by this time, and I understand how things work when you go out for dinner, because I have been out for dinner with my staff a few times before ... so when the lady with the notepad came over to ask us if we were ready to choose our food, I looked at her very seriously and said in my most loud, clear voice: "Get ... tea ... now ... lay-dee."
Mummy looked completely horrified, for some reason, but everyone else just laughed. The lady did not do as she was told and go and get my tea; she waited until the grownups had all chosen their food before she went away with her notepad. This was annoying because grownups always take ages to decide what they want to eat, even when us babies are starving. Grownups are very fussy.
Anyway, when the tea finally arrived it was very nice, and I ate mine all up. When we had all eaten, daddy drove us back to Pete and Lue's house again, and then the parent staff sorted out my bath and milk, ready for bed.
When mummy lifted me into my travel cot at bedtime, I pointed at the big bed and said, "Mummy, daddy, seeping, here?"
Mummy said that the parent staff would be coming to bed later on when I was asleep, and that they would be here in the room with me when I woke up in the morning. So that is something fun to look forward to ...
Waking the parent staff up in the morning, I mean.