Today I woke up and realised that I had been kidnapped. I had a fuzzy memory of being moved from daddy’s car to a strange cot in the middle of the night ... and when I opened my eyes this morning I was in a travel cot in a weird room.

I didn’t really mind any of this because I soon realised that I have been to this place before, and I seemed to remember that there is a dog here ... and also the travel cot has more space in it than my home cot, which seems to have been getting smaller lately.

So I did some talking, practising my animal noises and the words that I know in the staff language, until finally the door opened and I realised who the culprits of the kidnapping were ... MY OWN PARENTS!!!

Mummy came in, with a sneaky look about her, and tickled my tummy and started babbling about how I was on holiday now and had come to visit Granny and Auntie Al. Granny and Auntie Al are all very well, but where was the dog that I remembered from last time?

When mummy took me downstairs for breakfast the dog was there waiting. She is very very big and very very hairy and she is called Sherry. I like her very much. When I saw her I said “Wowowowow” and patted her. After breakfast and getting washed and dressed we went out to play in the garden and Sherry came with us. We sat on the grass and read books and Granny came out and took lots of pictures of me. I am getting very good at having my picture taken now. When Granny says “big grin”, I push my face forward and show her all of my teeth, and everybody laughs and claps because I am clever.

Daddy came out to play too and because we were on the grass he did the whirly thing that he likes to do in grass places. He lifts me up high and then spins me round and round in a circle, and then he puts me back on the floor again and says “run to mummy!”, and I try to run to mummy but I am all wobbly, so I walk in a wobbly way and then fall onto mummy’s knees. This makes everybody laugh and clap as well, and I laugh too because it’s funny.

After all of the playing we got in the car and went to the best place ever. It is a place called a “farm”, and it is full of dogs and pigs and sheep and ducks and other animals that I don’t know very well yet but that are still really cool.

The first thing that I did when I got to the farm was run in to the place where all the pigs live and make an excellent pig noise. My pig noise was so good that all of the pigs made noises back at me. Pigs are so cool that I think I might like them even more than dogs.  

After the pigs, we went and gave food to some goats. The food was in a little bag that mummy had got from a man on the way in, and having food is really good fun because it means that all the animals want to be your friends. Mummy put some goat food in my hand and then put my hand on top of her giant hand, and then let the goats eat the food. The goats slurped up the food with their lips, and it was really tickly and funny.

We had lunch on a bench at the farm. Mummy was cross because I kept spitting my cheese sandwich out when she fed it to me. I like sandwiches (they are really good fun to pull apart and play with), but this one was made with weird cheese and I didn’t like it at all. It was okay though because one of the farm dogs was under my seat and he was eating all of the sandwich that I was spitting out, and I think it made him happy. I had to eat a few bits of sandwich because mummy said that I couldn’t have my yogurt until I had eaten some. I wasn’t happy about having to eat the yucky cheese but I really wanted my yogurt. And my banana.

When we had finished lunch the parent staff took me to a big pond where we saw ducks, and then a man let me have a ride on a donkey. This was a bit strange at first because I have never seen a donkey in real life before, but mummy kept hold of me all the time and it turned out to be pretty good fun. The donkey was nice even though he smelled a bit funny.

There were some really good playgrounds at the farm. Some of them were outside and some of them had a roof. We went to an inside playground and it had big squishy things to jump on, and a room full of little balls that were all different colours. I made a friend in the playground. He was a boy and he was much bigger than me, but he was really kind and he let me put lots of little colourful balls on him and he helped me climb back out of the ball room when I was ready to go. Mummy said it was nice that I had made a friend.

When we left the farm we went back to Granny’s house and played in the garden some more and had tea. I was feeling tired by this time because I had had a busy day, so when it was bath time I had a bit of a paddy and cried loudly whilst I was being dried. Mummy was a bit cross and she said that I wasn’t really crying because I had no tears in my eyes and was just making noise, but I think I still made my point.

I was happy to get into my travel cot after story and milk time, anyway. Animals and farms are very tiring. Tonight I will dream about pigs.